


Healing Ourselves

by Ava_now



Series: Barollins AU [5]
Category: Law & Order: SVU
Genre: Angst and Fluff and Smut, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Emotional Support, F/M, Friendship/Love, Love, Oral Sex, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Snuggling
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-02
Updated: 2020-06-02
Packaged: 2021-03-03 20:21:09
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 2
Words: 5,195
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24501505
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ava_now/pseuds/Ava_now
Summary: On the anniversary of a life-changing event, Rafael and Amanda share secrets, support, and love.
Relationships: Rafael Barba/Amanda Rollins
Series: Barollins AU [5]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1760629
Comments: 5
Kudos: 17





	1. The Reason She Couldn't Get Up Today

**Author's Note:**

> TW: discussion of rape. Fairly similar to what is discussed in the show.
> 
> This is a relatively short two-chapter fic. Your kudos and comments are loved and I'm always open to hear suggestions. If you catch a major mistake, please let me know! Thanks!
> 
> Thanks for reading! Hope you enjoy!

“Hey honey.” Rafael switched the phone quickly to his other ear. “You okay? You didn’t answer my texts.”

It was a rainy Saturday morning, and Rafael and Amanda had made plans earlier in the week to take the kids to the park for a little bit this morning. But overnight the snow had turned to sleet and rain, so he was guessing their plans needed to change. He’d texted her a few times, but she hadn’t responded yet. Unusual.

He heard her heavy sigh. “Sorry. Change of plans all the way around--Billie is with her dad and Jesse spent the night with Noah. I should’ve called you.”

He tried to push down the feeling of annoyance. They could have spent the night together, he could have made other plans for today if needed--”It’s okay. How about I pick up some breakfast and bring it over? I can stop for those bagels you like.”

He heard her sniffle and had the odd feeling she was crying. “I really think I just need to rest,” she said quietly. “I’m sorry, Rafi. I haven’t been feeling well and I just...I think I just need to rest.”

Silence hung between them for a long minute, punctuated by her occasional sniffle. There was something off, more than exhaustion. He could feel it. “You’re crying,” he finally said, stating the obvious. “Amanda, what if I just stop by with some coffee and a bagel? I’ll take Frannie out for you and then I’ll leave you to rest.” After another moment of silence, he added, “Please.”

“Okay,” she agreed, “as long as it’s just a short visit. Thank you for understanding...or trying to understand.”

“I’ll see you shortly, honey.” Hanging up the phone, he slipped into his boots and then grabbed his puffer coat and scarf. Whatever was going on, he hoped he could help. He hated thinking about her in pain.

***

He knocked on the door, but when she didn’t open it right away, he dug into his pocket and pulled out his spare.

She’d given it to him a month ago, after it was clear that he was coming by consistently on weeknights and sometimes got there before she did. He’d been hesitant to take it, but she’d just laughed it off, teasing him. “Go ahead, I trust you,” she had told him. He had added it to his keychain, and had only used it twice before now.

Frannie greeted him enthusiastically as he opened the door. “Hey girl, hey,” he soothed quietly, patting the dog’s head before making his way down the hallway to the master bedroom. Amanda was lying in bed, covered with blankets. The blinds were drawn and the lights were out. Setting the coffees on the dresser, he quietly led Frannie to the front room and got her leash on. They took a quick walk around the block before he led the dog back inside. He was ready for his coffee at that point, so he removed Frannie’s leash, then toed off his shoes before heading toward the bedroom again. It was silent as he made his way to the bed and sat down on the edge of it, putting their coffees on the nightstand.

“‘Manda.” He nudged her gently. She sat up, startled and sucking in breath, one arm out as though to block him. “It’s just me, it’s okay,” he said quickly. “You okay? It’s just me, Rafa.” 

She was squinting at him but lowering her hand. “Oh, Rafael…” He heard her trying to catch a breath. “Sorry, you startled me...I was just sleeping…”

Her eyes were red, and as her arms crossed in front of her, he had the sense that even his presence was making her leery. “Amanda, what’s going on? You seem so anxious--” He reached toward her to pull her into a hug, but she yanked back from him.

“Don’t touch me!” she snapped, and once again her hand came between them, a flat palm out, before she added, “please. Please...don’t touch me.”

He’d never seen her this jumpy before, this agitated. “Amanda,” he said again, quietly, “I just want to help, honey. Can you at least tell me what’s going on?”

He could see her body visibly shaking, and she slowly retracted her hands and laid them in her lap. “I’m sorry,” she said, shaking her head. “It shouldn’t still bother me like this. Every year I tell myself it will be different, that I won’t let it get to me, but it does, it still does…”

And then he knew. 

She had started out on the stand that evening like most detectives he prepped, solid and confident in the details of the crime she was testifying about. But by the time he’d gotten through the entire story of her assault, she’d literally curled her body in, hand near her face, and her voice had taken on a quiet, girlish tone. “He raped me,” she had admitted, as much to herself as to him, and her blue eyes widened as she chewed her bottom lip. And even then, not knowing her the way he knew her now, he had felt a protective anger churning in his gut. Rollins could protect herself in so many ways, but Patton had found a way around her defenses, and he had hurt her badly. Closing his own eyes now, he asked, “How many years has it been now, honey?”

Her voice was childlike when she responded, “Nine. But sometimes it feels like it was yesterday.”

“I’m sure that’s true.” He watched her cry, shaking softly, and he couldn’t help himself. “Amanda, please...can I please hold you? I hate watching you in pain like this…”

As if she were seeing him for the first time today, her eyes met his and she nodded quickly, then eagerly slid against him. He wrapped his arms around her tightly, stroking her hair. “Shh, baby. It’s okay,” he soothed. This was something he knew how to do, to comfort her like this. He’d done it before over small things since they’d been together, and it had always calmed her down. She’d always seemed to like being held by him like this, and he found himself now desperately hoping that was true, despite it being contrary to everything he knew about victims. 

He’d learned a long time ago that rule number one in dealing with sexual assault victims was: don’t touch. Never, ever touch a victim without their express consent. He’d witnessed more than one victim dissolve into a meltdown, or become even more frenzied over someone unexpectedly moving into personal space. However, moving past that first rule, developing care and a relationship, was far more difficult. It was something that he’d always discounted before meeting Olivia Benson, who believed connecting with victims promoted healing, and healing promoted more accurate memory and better testimony. And after watching her for years, he had to admit she was right. Olivia was a master at it; she could communicate acceptance and caring to a victim very easily. His own skills had vastly improved; he was a keen observer and incorporated her strategies fairly quickly with most people. But there were still cases that were particularly challenging, times when he knew he needed to let Liv take the lead. He found part of him wishing Liv was perched on his shoulder now, telling him what to do. But she wasn’t, and he needed to figure this out himself.

He had been surprised to learn, as their relationship had progressed, that Amanda was a very physically affectionate person. Not a date passed without her curling against him, holding his hand, or perching in his lap. She seemed to have a hand on him at all times and he had quickly and happily fallen into the same routine. One night, after he’d had a particularly bad day, she’d encouraged him to lay down with her on the bed while she held him. Her hands had moved up and down his back, then into his hair as she kissed and snuggled him. When he murmured later how much better he felt, she had smiled softly. “It helps me too,” she admitted. “Having someone hold and touch me when things are bad...it’s the best.”

So he had gone out on a limb with that, hoping it would work today, and so far it was. Her body was relaxing against his, soft sniffles buried in his hoodie, and he continued to stroke her back.

After Patton’s trial, he had wondered how Amanda was doing, what kind of support she had. He knew that she’d been dating that loser Nate a year before and it was always anyone’s guess what was going on between her and Amaro. Her sister seemed like a train wreck. He found himself hoping she had some friends, but it had never occurred to him to reach out to her then. They were too different, and to be honest, he was still chasing down Olivia every night in his fantasies.

Now, it suddenly occurred to him that he was Amanda’s support system. He was the person who was supposed to be there for her, to help as she worked this out. Absently, he continued to stroke her back as he thought about this, until she pulled away from him and wiped her eyes.

“I didn’t admit what he’d done, what had really happened, until I was on the stand prepping with you.” Amanda pulled one leg up, bending the knee, as she tucked the other one under her. “If I didn’t admit it, it was like it had never happened and I could keep on pretending I had control that I’d never had in the first place. I didn’t have to face the fact I’d been a victim. Most days, I still refuse to think of myself in that way. I put myself in a stupid situation. What happened to me never had to happen. I didn’t have to go talk to Patton to begin with. Or I could have skipped out on the meeting. Or I could have just accepted what I agreed to--”

“He was abusing you, Amanda,” Rafael interrupted. “He slammed your head into the headboard, for God’s sake. Nobody should ever have to accept that.” He could feel the same fury in his gut that he’d felt when she had first told him what had happened, the same rage. How dare this man take advantage of his younger, less powerful subordinate?

She was shaking her head, though, and he wasn’t surprised by her next statement. “If you play with fire, you’re bound to get burned. My momma’s been trying to beat that lesson into me since I was yay high.” She laughed, but it was hollow, and she wiped her eyes.

“Look, Amanda,” he said, moving closer to her. “I don’t care what you did, what your sister did, what your momma tried to teach you or anything else. Patton had no right to touch you, period, even  _ with  _ your consent. But once you said no, it was done. He became a rapist the moment he chose to continue.”

“I don’t deserve you, Rafael,” she told him, but he reached over and squeezed her hands. “I mean it. I don’t. I make ridiculous choices and put everyone through the consequences of those with me. This rape is just one example. Look at my girls. Look at their fathers. I choose men who are emotionally unavailable and who could never love me enough to stay. Even when I’ve had their kid, they don’t stay.”

“You want them to stay? To come back?” he asked, dipping his head down to meet her eyes. “Al? Declan? Because I’ve always thought that you didn’t want that. That you wanted better for you and the girls.”

“I do,” she confessed, “but I don’t know how to get it, I guess. I don’t know. Declan once told me I don’t respect myself enough, and that’s why I end up in situations where men take advantage of me. But tell me, Rafa, what is there here to respect? I mean, I look at you coming through the door every day and I can’t help but wonder why. What the hell do I have to offer you, other than an easy lay?” She shrugged her shoulders. “Patton was right about that. It’s what I’m good for.”

“You cannot let Patton define how you see yourself, Amanda. The man is a rapist. He got off on hurting you.” Taking her hands in his, he squeezed. “Don’t let him keep doing it, honey. You know you’re better than this. And you know I’m not here for sex any more than you are. I mean, don’t get me wrong, I’ve enjoyed every intimate moment we’ve had. And I’d love to think I’m the most incredible lover you’ve ever had…” He waggled his eyebrows and she laughed softly. “But we’ve had far more moments with our clothes on than off at this point, and I keep coming back for those too.”

Sniffling and looking away from him, she said, “I don’t know why.”

“Do you want to know why?” he asked, and tilted her face back toward him gently. “Because I love you. I have fun with you, Amanda. You’re funny and intelligent. Your sarcasm and wit keep me laughing. You’re passionate about your job, your kids...about things that matter. I don’t know why things went so badly with Al in particular, or why Declan’s made the choices he has. But those things aren’t your fault. All I know is that you’ve never been reckless and impulsive in our relationship.”

“I have two children by two different men,” she said emphatically.

“And if I had a uterus, God knows how many children by how many different partners I might have,” he told her. “The one thing I agree with you about is that you don’t think you deserve any better. And honey, you do. You deserve the world.”

As she crumbled, he wrapped his arms around her once more, holding her close. There was no doubt in his mind that he loved her and wanted to be here. And he truly believed that she loved him like she’d told him she did. 

“When I was in college,” he began, and he felt her instantly relax in his arms, “I was in love with a girl I grew up with. She was beautiful and smart. I was at Harvard, but I came home as often as I could just to see her. I would spend every minute with her that I could. I was madly in love, and was convinced we would get married. She knew I was only going away because of my scholarship, and I had assured her that when I finished school, I would be back for her and we would decide together where our future went. We had dated for a year and a half when my schoolwork became overwhelming and I couldn’t make it home as regularly as I had been. I had spent the entire fall semester at school, barely keeping my grades up where I felt they needed to be. I came home for Christmas, expecting her to be waiting for me with my mom at the bus station. But she wasn’t there. Instead, my mother broke it to me that she’d been dating my best friend from high school. He’d stayed home and gone to Fordham, just like she had.”

She pulled back from him. “Yelena Munoz?” she asked. “Jesus, Rafael...and you tried to help them, too...baby, I’m so sorry. That had to hurt.”

“It did. In fact, it hurt so badly I only had one other significant relationship between that one and this one with you. I’ve had several really short-term relationships, lots of one-night stands, years of wishing and fantasizing. Where you tried to connect with other men through sex, I just shut myself off emotionally, completely.”

She reached up and played with his collar. “You think of this--us--as one of your major relationships?” she asked.

His immediate response was defensiveness and fear. Was she saying she didn’t think they were serious? That she thought what she had with one of those other guys was more important, better? “Yeah,” he said firmly, “for me, this is serious. If it’s not for you, now would be a good time to let me know.”


	2. Prescription for Her Misery

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Amanda and Rafael had confided some big secrets in each other. She made terrible choices in life, and they cost her major consequences. How could he possibly love her? But he'd confided that she was now one of the major love relationships in his life. Could she love him back?
> 
> Rollins and Barba navigate the ending of a difficult conversation together.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW--discussions of Patton's rape of Rollins
> 
> SMUT alert! If that's not your thing, then this fic is probably not for you.
> 
> Hi! I hope you enjoy this chapter, and this fic overall! I started it with a vague idea of what I wanted to do and then it kind of added some other ideas and I actually really like how it ended up. These two want and need so much to learn from each other, and are so similar in certain ways. 
> 
> Please remember that kudos and comments are so, so appreciated! Thanks so much for reading!

Rafael tried to keep his poker face, a firm, serious one, but all he really wanted was a nod to confirm this wasn’t all in his head--

Amanda stared at Rafael for a long minute, then her lips were crashing against his in a soul-smashing kiss. Her hands grabbed his hair and she pulled him forward, hard, until he was lying on top of her in the bed. Her hands let go of his hair and moved down his body, stroking back and forth before landing on his ass and squeezing, sending blood rushing to his groin. Her tongue was swirling, licking, tasting him, and he was feeling absolutely heady and finding it difficult to keep up.

One of his hands was tangled in her hair and the other was against the bed. “Amanda,” he gasped as one of her legs swung around his waist, then flipped him over so his back was flat on the mattress. She straddled his crotch and ground down, hard, as she clutched either side of his face. “‘Manda!” he gasped again as she was kissing his ear, and she finally pulled back, weaving her fingers into his hair and massaging his scalp.

“I love you.” She lowered a more careful kiss to his nose. “Yes, our relationship is serious for me. Rafael, how could it not be? You’re sweet as sugar to my girls. You sing lullabies to Billie and took Jesse to Broadway, for chrissake. Who does that? And you take care of me.” She swallowed hard, then said, “You treat me like a princess, Rafa. You treat me like I matter. I’ve never had that before. Of course this is serious for me. I just didn’t know how you felt--” she shook her head. “Men say things. They don’t mean them.”

He reached up and ran his hands up and down her back gently. “Amanda. I promise that I’ll do my very best to be honest with you. I can’t promise it will always be something I want to say or that you want to hear, but I promise it’ll be my best effort at honesty. Okay?”

She nodded as he reached up and wiped a stray tear from her nose, then kissed it. “I love you, ‘Manda. I love you because you make me smile for so many reasons.”

Pulling her head toward his, he kissed her slowly, deeply, tasting her sweetness as he stroked her hair. Her hands wrapped into his hair as well, and this time he was the one who rolled them over. His fingers slid over the outside of her nightshirt, over her breast and down to the hem. “This okay?” he asked a second later, and when she smiled and nodded, he eased her out of it, then let his mouth find one taut nipple.

She wrangled him out of his shirt quickly as well, him lifting his head quickly to become disentangled. Her fingers tugged lightly at his chest hair and he heard her soft whine when his hand rested on the front of her panties, on her pubic bone. He scraped her nipple with his teeth as he slid his palm to the crotch of her underwear and pressed firmly.

He felt her grind against his palm; the fabric grew damp against his hand, and the blood pooled in his groin once again. “Feel good?” he murmured in her ear as he pressed kisses along her earlobe and her jaw.

“Mhmm, yes.” She opened her eyes. “You always feel so good. You always make me feel good.” He watched as her eyes closed again and felt her arch her pelvis against his palm. “And you always make me come. I’ve never been with another man like you, Rafael...I’ve never had a lover who treated me the way you do.” Suddenly her eyes were wide open again and she had his face in her hands. “I love you, Rafael. I don’t always understand what you see in me, and sometimes I get afraid I’ll scare you away...but I love you, Rafa.” Her lips grazed his sweetly, softly. “Thank you for being here for me when I need you, even when I push you away.”

“Amanda.” He slipped his hand into her panties, fingers stroking the soft skin. “I want to please you. I want to make you feel good. I want you to forget what today is, other than a relaxing Saturday with your boyfriend.” His fingers brushed over her softly in a rhythmic pattern and she sighed, then spread her legs a little farther apart. “You like that, don’t you? Like when I touch you like that?” Leaning over, he licked one of her nipples, then blew gently over it. “You can tell me what feels good, what you like. I want to make you feel good.”

“I feel good now,” she told him as he continued to lick and suck on her nipple. His fingers were stroking her folds in a quirky rhythm. He watched her carefully, paying attention to when she sighed, when she shifted, when she arched into his hand. His mouth moved down from her breast to her ribcage, then her stomach, as he circled her navel with his tongue. He licked a path to her hip, then lifted up and carefully pulled her panties down and off.

He was moving up, over her body, when he realized her eyes were open again and she was wearing a sleepy half-smile. “I feel so good,” she told him as he settled between her legs, then circled an arm around one of her thighs. He sucked on two of his fingers for a moment, then pulled them out and smiled back at her.

“You taste divine,” he told her, then leaned forward and kissed her vulva as though it were a mouth. He heard her moan mixed with a high pitched whine, and he took the opportunity to circle her clit with his tongue before sucking firmly. He felt her entire body stiffen as her breath caught. Her hands tangled in his hair again and she tugged until he let her go. “You okay?” he asked. “Were you pulling because you wanted me to stop?”

She laughed then, a high pitched girly giggle, and said, “Hell no, darlin’. I’d hold you there forever if I could. And to think all those years I thought the term ‘silver tongue’ applied to your courtroom expertise.”

He chuckled at that, leaned over and sucked a small mouthful of inner thigh until he was sure he’d left a mark. Running his tongue back over it, he said, “I’ve marked you. I hope that’s okay. I probably should’ve asked first...I’m sorry.”

She sighed. “As long as you understand I get to mark you,” she told him, “and I like necks.”

He leaned over the opposite thigh and nipped it teasingly and she squealed, giggling all over again. He kissed her thighs over and over again while she laughed, until he finally slid his fingers over her wet sex again and her giggles changed to moans.

He lapped at her slowly then, listening to the soft sounds Amanda was making, then sped up and focused on her clit again. He kept his rhythm steady and his pressure firm and quick before finally slipping two fingers inside of her. Her hips arched upward into his face; he nudged her clit with his nose a couple of times, then resumed licking and sucking. 

“Rafa…” her voice was breathy and light. He suddenly realized her fingers were grasping at his empty hand, and he eagerly tangled his fingers with hers. He could feel her body thrumming with excitement as she moved with his mouth and his fingers. He felt a bit desperate himself, cock swollen and horny beyond belief. He ground against the mattress in rhythm with her.

Glancing up her body, he saw that her chest was arched up, forward, and her nipples were taut with arousal. Mouth open, a slight sheen of sweat covering her, Rafael could see Amanda’s eyes were screwed shut and she was panting, on the edge of orgasm. She was a goddess, he thought, and how could she ever think otherwise? He quickly circled her clit one more time before sucking firmly, and he heard her cry out as she climaxed.

“Yes...yes...yes…” she chanted, and he squeezed her hand and continued to suck rhythmically until he felt her body start to relax. “No more,” she finally gasped, and he released her, then gently kissed her thigh again.

“Good?” he asked as he kissed his way up her body. He swore she was even more beautiful post-orgasm, when she had a glowy sheen and a look of contentment.

“Mmhmm.” He snuggled closer to her body, kissing her ear and stroking her hip. His cock was jutting against her, and she rested her hand on it. “Somebody’s ready to go,” she teased, then rolled over to face him, taking him fully into her hand. She stroked him gently, and he closed his eyes for a long minute, feeling incredibly good. ”Can I repay the favor?”

The thought of it made his head swim. “If you want to...it’s not expected…” He nearly choked on his own words when he felt her swallow him down, quick but steady, and give a firm suck. “Jesus, Amanda,” he groaned as she slid back up his shaft and circled the head. “Holy fuck. Give a guy a little warning, can you?”

She pulled off, grinning at him. “I thought you’d like that,” she said, then ran her tongue over the slit a few times. Before he could get a handle on that, she’d moved down to his balls and was gently mouthing one, then the other. He moaned softly in response.

Rafael wasn’t any stranger to blowjobs. He’d had--and given--his fair share over the years, and he’d generally found that the partners who gave great oral were the ones who really enjoyed both giving and receiving it. He had always enjoyed giving his partners oral pleasure, and he’d gone down on Amanda a handful of times before today. She hadn’t gone down on him, though--until now. He had wondered if maybe it was something she didn’t enjoy, or if it just hadn’t felt like the right time to her. Considering how enthusiastically she was bobbing on him now, though, it had to be the latter, he thought. She pulled off suddenly, looking at him.

“Do you want to go deeper? Thrust?” She ran her fist up and down his shaft a couple of times, then swiped the tip with her thumb, removing the pearly white precum gathering at the tip. “I want you to feel good too, Rafa...and I know you’ve got to be close.”

“I am,” he confessed, watching her repeat her actions again. “And it feels incredible, honey...I just don’t want to make you uncomfortable…”

She kissed the tip of his cock gently. “I trust you, baby. Whatever feels good to you.” She ran her tongue down his shaft to his balls, circling each one.

“Amanda,” he moaned again, watching her. “You feel so damn good, honey,” he said again as she swallowed a few inches of him once more. He settled his hands on her head and she began to move up and down on him quickly, sucking firmly. He tightened his hands in her hair and began to thrust lightly. The image of her climaxing from a few minutes ago settled in his brain, and he caught his breath. When he opened his eyes, she was looking up at him, and all he could see was the baby blue hue of her irises. “‘Manda…,” he gasped, pleasure shooting through him, “’Manda, I’m gonna come...honey--”

She continued to suck firmly, moving up and down his shaft as he felt his body explode. When he was able to look back at her, she was wiping off a small bit of cum from her mouth, and smiling gently at him. She slid up the bed until she was chest-level, then kissed one of his nipples. “Was that good? It’s been awhile, but you seemed pretty close before I even started--”

He reached up and stroked her hair. “Yeah, it was good.” He felt like he was giddy, grinning at her. “You’re like an angel, you know that? Beautiful, sexy, amazing…”

She giggled, then bit his nipple and sucked. “I’m just glad it felt good...I seriously haven’t done that in a very long time.”

Twisting her hair around his finger, he put two and two together. “Not since before Patton?”

She shook her head. “Nope.” Her fingers wandered over the whorls of hair on his chest, gently stroking them. “I just couldn’t bring myself to do that--”

He closed his eyes. Continuing to play with her hair, he said softly, “Every victim has something she holds back.”

“Yeah.” She lay down, resting her head on his chest. “That’s how my head got hit. He had me by the hair during oral, and when I pulled off and wanted a break, he slammed my head into the headboard.” She sighed quietly as she continued to stroke his chest. He thought about her in the witness chair, describing the assault, skipping over the fact she was sodomized. He didn’t blame her. They were quiet for several minutes, lost in their own thoughts, until she finally broke the silence. “Are you upset?” she asked. “Disappointed I wasn’t completely honest with you back then?”

Catching her face in both hands, he met her eyes. “Of course not, honey. It should have never happened to begin with. I’m so sorry that it did.”

The tension in her face relaxed then, and she kissed him gently. “I wanted to share that with you--oral, I mean. Giving you head. I’d been thinking about it for awhile. Just made sense, you know? I used to be pretty good at it, so I’m sure over time I’ll get better…”

He shook his head. “You amaze me, ‘Manda. I can’t believe you chose to do that to ME, and to do it today…”

She laughed. “Yeah, I’m pretty impressed with myself, to take that back on the anniversary of what he did. Patton can go fuck himself. I just blew my boyfriend.”

“Here here!” He joined in her laughter, and as they kissed and snuggled, rain softly beating against the windows outside, Rafael began to understand something Amanda hadn’t yet--that she didn’t need him to heal her. She could do it herself, and she had. And he’d been lucky enough to be there to witness it. 


End file.
